Clinton on the campaign trail endorsing his fellow Democrats. He says he supports both the LEFT and the RIGHT. Giggity!
Philadelphia, PA — This weekend, sources tell us that former President — William “Crushing Strange” Clinton — has been pretty excited about his latest stint on the stump that has enabled him to get out of the house and “crush some strange” while campaigning for Democrats across the country.
The eyes of a man with a plan. Thumbs up from the former pres.
The former president was seen, in his words, “scoping some boobies” and giving elevator eyes to every “6” or better while on the 2022 mid-term campaign trail.
“It brings me back; I used to crush so much poon that Hillary used to have to dust me off with delousing powder before letting me back in the house,” said the former president.
“We had to burn three mattresses,” said his wife.
In D.C. circles, Clinton had been known as the “Poon-slayer in Chief” since his days trolling for ladies back in the ’90s. Some say that this reputation led to the downfall of his presidency as well as several new strains of herpes.
Clinton with his mistress, Monica Lewinski, from the '90s.
We’ve reached out to the Clinton organization for comment but have not yet received any response.
UPDATE — We changed our tactic, and one of our undercover clown journalists reached out directly to the former president for a request to comment.
Mr. President,
My name is Woksey the Clown and I’m a reporter for Clown Pilled News. I’m reaching out to get a comment on the rumors that you said, “The Amount Of 'Poontang' On The 2022 Campaign Trail Is Out Of This World.”
Would you like to make a statement about this comment? Do you think you helped their campaigns?
Thank you in advance,
Woksey the Clown 😘
His response:
Hey Baby,
You know, I was president back in the day and I bet you like power.
Enough about me, I would love to talk to you about anything. Coincidentally, I have this tropical island that my best friend left to me in his will. We can talk there. It’s really nice. I have a private jet too.
LMK
Always down to clown,
Bill
P. S. I attached some pics too.
The response creeped us out. 🤮 We were unable to show the pictures he sent and will not be pursuing this any further. Also, we’re not suicidal.
* It’s Satire, Stupid! 🤡
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I think he would need to call the crane company 🤮